Monday, December 7, 2009

My Traumatic Kroger Experience

It has been such a maybe for my enjoyment only, here is what happened to me Saturday evening in my local Kroger:

Let me preface by saying that I rarely go to Kroger by myself because I always have some sort of minor incident and I usually start sweating. What is the deal with me and Kroger you ask? I have no clue. Walmart and I get along just fine, but a trip to Kroger ends in "are you kidding me?" "I'm never coming in here again." "Did that really happen?" It is important to note that I really enjoy Kroger's selection and produce and I wish I could shop there more. But I can't.

So, I enter Kroger at 5:05 pm and immediately stop at the bananas. Bananas are the very first item you encounter in my Kroger. I get my fruit, check said produce off my list, and then my cart gets rammed into. What the? A lady with her 2 teenage sons is apparently so engrossed in the weekly ad that she rammed into my cart, never looked up from the ad, never even acknowledged the ramming of my cart occured. I gave her a crazy look, said "excuse me" and headed away from the weirdo cart lady. So, at 5:06pm I take a deep breath, chuckle to myself and go on my way to finish crossing off my list.

As I criss cross the store, I pass several employees and managers who greet me "how are you, can I help you find anything?" Maybe they were trying to distract me and the other shoppers from the ridiculously long check out lines.

Time to check out. The self check outs are all open. I have far too many items for that. There are 3 normal lines open - with at least 5 carts in each line. You know how grocery stores are on weekends, 1 cart equals at least 3 people with at least 1 of those people in a foul mood. I am alone, 1 tired pregnant girl with 1 cart in the midst of this chaos. I was next in line, and then it happened. A motorized wheelchair cart rammed into ME. Not my cart - my butt.

I turn around, mouth and eyes wide open. I see a woman who is not old, not large, and appears to be fully functioning and not in need of a motorized cart. She apologizes, blames her 3 year old daughter, slaps the fire out of said child, and makes the child apologize. I'm sorry, did this just happen. Yes, to me. My big pregnant self. Where are the managers now?

Note to grocery store managers: open more checkout lanes. If you yourself have to scan my freaking items, please do it. I'll appreciate it. The child who got blamed for reaching over and pushing the button on a motorized cart that ran into my big pregnant butt will appreciate it.

I manage to check out and be kind to the overworked checkers and baggers. I get outside, already dialing Josh and start crying. I mean it didn't feel good to get rammed into by a motorized wheelchair cart, but I was not injured, but this was definitely something I needed to cry about. Josh was driving back from St. Louis. He was like 6.5 hours away and apparently my words were not accurately describing the situation, because he was not as concerned as I needed him to be. I was just stunned and a little embarrased and pissed that only 3 checkout lanes were open because I'm pretty sure if they were all open, this would not have happened. Ok, who am I kidding? This crap was going to happen to me.

I replay the situation to Josh and my mom, even saying "you know how I had a car wreck that was not my fault and it totaled my car? I was completely stopped and the car ran into the back of me. Yeah, exact same thing just happened between me and motorized wheelchair cart." Bless their hearts. They didnt laugh immediately. Just reading it now is hilarious to me...

That is my traumatic Kroger experience. Do these things happen to anyone but me? Do share...


Stephanie Price said...

Hey Rach!
I seriously lol'd when I read your blog! I think there is just something weird about Kroger stores! We have Bakers where I live (a sister store of Kroger) and I have issues everytime I go there! It's not with the customers though. My problem is always with the cashier people! One night I had a checker guy ask me how I was. I said "fine and you"? I sooo should not have done that! He started CRYING (chin quivering, tears flowing) because he had to work an hour later than what they had scheduled him for! On a different trip, another cashier person was describing his busted bloody knee to me while taking out my groceries! He was telling me all about his stiches and how he couldn't walk or drive for days. I have to choose Walmart over Kroger/Bakers now! I feel your pain ;)

Lindsey said...

HILARIOUS blog. Sorry Kroger is so tragic for you!!