Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Childbirth Class Highlights - Part 2

Laughter. Uncontrollable, ugly-faced, normally happens at church, innapropriate laughter. That is what I remember most from last night.

There was not 1 single incident that made me laugh so hard, but I completely lost control when we had to sit on the floor, me between Josh's legs and practice relaxation. I laughed so hard I couldn't breath, I was crying, and I was really hoping I wouldn't pee my pants. See, we're not really massage people. Very rarely do I rub his shoulders or do I get a back rub. And we're definitely not Enya listening people. But this is no excuse for my uncontrollable laughter. I hope I didn't distract any other couple. I mean, my laughter was silent and I had my face covered up with my hands,but if anyone saw us they would have been distracted. Maybe I should apologize. Accept I couldn't without laughing again.

The class started with a little review from last week, followed by the discussion/power point of the really worst parts of birth in my opinion. I'm talking episiotomy, forceps, vacuums, internal monitors - that kind of stuff. Josh doodled around the illustration of one of these procedures. I giggled and told him to stop.

2 of the couples ask the most questions. A lot of questions about what the hospital allows/does not allow as far as "going natural," induction, which doctors do what. 95% of the questions are very helpful, the others could really be asked in a 1-on-1 setting. Anyway, one of the dad's reminds Josh of one of our favorite shows - King of the Hill (I know, don't judge.) Specifically, the character Lucky. If you are at all familiar with Lucky, you probably just chuckled. So Josh kept referring to the dad as "Lucky." I would giggle every time.

Then we took a break, and when I returned from the bathroom Josh was very focused on the class project. The project being a homemade version of the "bed buddy." Basically a sock filled with rice that you can warm up in the microwave and use on sore or tense muscles. Well, "Lucky's" project turned out to be short and stumpy - not ideal for the intended purpose- instead of longer and skinny that you can use around your neck. Josh kept saying "look at Lucky's sock, look at Lucky's sock! Mine's so much better!" I giggled - quite a bit. Ok, a lot.

We then head to the floor. Josh sat against the wall and I leaned back in between his legs. I knew he would be uncomfortable. The lights dimmed, the Enya CD played, the nurse began instructing the dad to massage the mom, and the mom's to "relax, visualize, breathe deeply..." Ya'll, I just laughed and laughed, the entire time. I would stop briefly when I made myself think of loved ones who have died. Those horribly sad thoughts were the only thing that kept me from getting asked to leave. I promise.

The dads then got a turn to sit in a chair while the moms massaged their scalp and shoulders (which Josh would love any other time) and back and arms. The other couples seemed to really be getting into this, which led Josh to look up at me and say "Lucky's already trying for baby #2." I was again DONE.

We had to cut the floor work short (to be continued next week) because we were running out of time, and there was a video to watch. The video showed different relaxation techniques and labor positions. The highlight of the video for me: the laboring mother who found relief sitting on the toilet with the dad at her side having a snack. That dude was munchin' on something as if he was on the couch in front of the tv. It struck me so funny. I giggled, or shook violently while trying to suppress my obnoxious laughter...whatever you want to call it.

As I told this story today everybody asked if Josh was laughing. He was, but I think he was just laughing at me laughing so hard. I laughed all the way home in the car, when I got home, and honest to goodness - I laughed this morning, like right after the alarm went off.

I haven't gotten so tickled in years. Hopefully I can act more mature next week, especially when we are in the operating room!


Shanda said...

Here you go...



nancy said...

This is really cracking me up. It will be great that you have a sense of humor about the whole thing come delivery time!