Tuesday, April 20, 2010

So Far, Ok

Monday was hard but I survived. I didn't cry all day at work. It was good to see people and talk with friends. I was exhausted when I got home. I guess feeling like you have no clue what you are doing will wear you out! Since I'm in a new position now that I'm back at work, I really do not know exactly what my role is. Also, I have not had to use my brain in the same way for 8 weeks now. People will ask me questions and it's like I've never worked here before. Everyone who asks me questions this week gets fair warning that a stupid/wrong answer may be what they get.

This morning was harder. Harder to leave her. I fed her and we were talking and she was just smiling like crazy. Smiling more than she has in her whole 7 week existence. And, I had to leave. It was hard. I'm surviving.

The past few days the old song "God is too Good" has been playing in my head. The line that says "when you can't trace His hand, trust his heart" repeats over and over. Because, that is exactly what I'm trying to do. Trust His timing, be thankful, not complain, have hope.

I am planning to download pictures tonight from baby dedication, after the team's fundraiser at Pizza Inn (on Hogan.) It was a special day, she did great, and looked precious!

1 comment:

Heather said...

I remember how hard it was going back....and for me that first day wasn't the hardest....it was the next couple of weeks after that when it was clear that this was the "new normal." I am praying for you. I remember the tired-ness and the lack of brain working, too. Eat lots of take out this week and be sure to give yourself a break on housework, laundry, etc.!! You deserve it! And Friday will be here before you know it!